August 2016
Holy Wow! What a whirlwind. July was a month of everything in all directions. How is it possible to have so many emotions in so many directions at the exact same time? Things building up; things cracking; things coming together; things crumbling …. It’s all part of something way bigger than us though right this very minute – it is very challenging to see beyond the end of my nose.
Closing July and starting August – let’s just say it is a very rough season in the Arms home. I know God is asking me to share a more raw less cleaned up version of me right now … laying my fear before His throne and going for it!
My world feels like a game right at the moment and everything is happening in slow motion. I can’t tell if the next move brings me closer to victory or if it pulls the rug out from under me. I am not at all where I thought I would be right now in any area of my life and I just want to know that I will be ok – which really means it will be easy, it won’t hurt and I can stay comfortable.
Feeling a little edgey – I need to check in on my health. I believe my total health includes Marital, Emotional, Physical, and Fiscal and these areas are glued together solely by the strength of my Spiritual health. (Years ago, I took the time to figure out what this means for me based on God’s Word and I use this process as a personal roadmap.)
Maritally, Thad and I choose to invest some of our free time in serving. As of August 1st, we are stepping back from that to address an unresolved issue from our past that is significantly impacting our marriage. It has shaken me more than I can even admit. My area of service needs to be my husband and my marriage. I know God’s got it and I will be ok – but man, I have no desire to walk through it. Honestly – I’d like to just wake up on the other side.
Emotionally, the grieving has started as the time to say earthly goodbyes to my friend Jen draws near. I praise God for our friendship and the blessings God poured over so many in and through her! She continues to be on fire for Jesus even as cancer ravages what is left of her body. Though she doesn’t want to leave her husband and young son, she is ready for Heaven and worshiping God without interruption for eternity.
Physically, I am actually doing better than I have in years. I am moving consistently, eating appropriately for me and I am actually discovering so much about what healthy feels like. I can tell the sleep and stress are starting to take their toll.
Financially, we are doing good. Our budget is on track and we know how we want to use our biggest ever Plexus paycheck to bless someone (yes – the monster number from July was hit!) We are aggressively paying off our car and our mortgage and it is quite possible to have the car paid in full within the next few months – major praise!
Spiritually, God and I are spending a lot of time together and our conversations are intense. God is big and he is good. He is unshakeable and unchangeable. He called me to be his and knew my everyday before he laid the foundation of the earth …. Choosing to believe that if my circumstances aren’t good – God’s not done! Going to just breathe and meditate on his truth for a while.
John 16:31-33 (NLT)
Jesus asked, “Do you finally believe? But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
