Part of our humanity is the roles we have, the roles we take and the roles we create for ourselves. My first roles were daughter then I became a friend, and eventually I became a sister.
As we grow up, our roles change and evolve – where do you live? what do you like? what do you do for fun? who are your friends? do you play sports? do you have a boyfriend? where are you going to college? what is your major? what do you do for a living? are you married? for how long? how many kids do you have?
The mom question was always the kicker for me. How do you answer that question when you’ve been married for years and it was a longing that God chose not to fulfill? For a while, when we thought adoption was a possibility, I’d joke that we were practicing parenthood with my fur babies. As medical challenges continued and the door on adoption continued to close, my go to was to shut down and retreat deep inside. Then the pain would bubble to the surface and tears would accompany the standard Yes I’ve been married for what seems like forever and no mom isn’t a role I have. It’s taken a really really really long time to be ok with that because when Thad and I got married – we both wanted children. Our parents wanted to be grandparents. And God said no to mom because He wanted me to become momma bear to many! It’s one of my most cherished roles behind His daughter and wife!
The role of momma bear is one God eased me into and then said GO! The first time I was referred to as “momma” was almost 20 years ago in my corporate role of European Communications Manger of all places. I was prepping my sales team for a big tradeshow in Munich and though they were brilliant seasoned professionals, most of them had never worked a tradeshow and had minimal communications training. We spent the week together all over the place with emotions – arguing about doing it my way with my rules, excitement of meeting new people, creating hiding places for them to take a break, pumping them up for the big cocktail parties out and quiet dinners as a team, to celebrating big wins and a wildly successful show when it was all over. My European salesmen thanked me for being their momma for a week – that they didn’t know at the time being challenged would help them grow.
It was my first time to let the momma bear loose and I realized what a gift I could be in this role. It served me well in my career, my service, my ministry, my friendships, my neighborhood … The God given assets of my momma bear include
- fierce loyalty
- compassion
- bold truth teller
- protectiveness
- nurturer and encourager
- and most importantly a deep love
Im excited to see how my momma bear shows up to love others well throughout my lifetime!
