It always leaves me in awe how God shows up … This past weekend it was during my 3Q reflections. I looked back on the year and then plan for what is to come!
It’s a quarterly process I enjoy. A chance to see where I’ve been, be grateful for each part of the journey so far and make sure that I am still going where I want to go. Nothing like picking a destination and busting it to get there only to realize that it isn’t really where I want to be!
God showed up – BIGTIME!
I’ve been hanging out in John 6 and all the lessons of the 5 loaves and 2 fish story – the perfect start to my Labor Day Reflection weekend … the reminder that the blessing comes in the breaking!!!
So looking at my year to date list – wow! so many victories… so many struggles.. so much change… all leading up to so much comfort seeking!
- Tweaked food choices to honor and nurture my health – more veggies, dramatic reduction of processed foods especially sugar
- TBI Roller Coaster – trying to work, it wasn’t working, took a break, tests indicate that work probably is over for quite a while
- 2 months of medical fun from a spider bite – cellulitis and staph infections with a GI shutdown -oh my!
- Surprise hospital stay for hunkyman then a surprise surgery for me
- Business growth spurt requiring a new level of leadership – the fleshly desire to stay small and hidden
- A significant conflict that hasn’t fully resolved yet – relationships are just messy; even more so when we humans get in the way!
- My mind’s and my body’s need to rest and recover
And how did I respond? Sometimes with praise – sometimes with gratitude – sometimes with my I’m ok mask – sometimes with yucky self talk – and this last week, I allowed food to creep back in as an idol and comfort again.
It looks different than the past both in quantity and quality and the reality of my behavior was so much faster than normal. And then the yuck – the emotional root is the same – I allowed my mind to go to a place of “I’m being punished” vs “I’m just different.” Instead of enjoying all of the good stuff that nourishes and supports my body, I focused on what was available for others to eat and what I couldn’t because of genetics, allergies, intolerances and sensitivities. Could I have eaten all the stuff – yes – and It is 100% my choice what I eat and when. I choose to eat in a way that honors my body and I let my mind run wild twisting the situation into something against me personally. I let comparison be the loudest voice. I listened to that instead of His truth. I began seeking comfort and feeling “better” outside of Jesus!
And thank you Lord for new mercies every morning. Thank you for your Word. After the 5 loaves and 2 fish story in John 6, the disciples are sent out into the sea to go on their next assignment. Short version – there is a storm, some wigging out, and the reminder that Jesus is there! Thank you God for conviction and clarity. Thank you for yanking me off of the self pity path. Thank you for a bold reminder of how much you love me during my quiet time. Thank you for getting back in the boat to take me to the exact spot I need to go! 2018 – I am no where near done with you yet!
In the evening his disciples went down to the sea, got in the boat, and headed back across the water to Capernaum. It had grown quite dark and Jesus had not yet returned. A huge wind blew up, churning the sea. They were maybe three or four miles out when they saw Jesus walking on the sea, quite near the boat. They were scared senseless, but he reassured them, “It’s me. It’s all right. Don’t be afraid.” So they took him on board. In no time they reached land—the exact spot they were headed to.
John 6:16-21 MSG
