When storms even think about entering the north Texas area, our house knows in advance.  My migraines and Thad’s TBI acts like an early warning system as pressure changes can be felt long before the storms show up.  I spent so much of my life in that high alert waiting for the next storm to show up – I was convinced that only hard, challenging, unpleasant and difficult stuff was coming.  Then I was introduced to a new way to think – I chose to think differently and expect the good stuff.

Imagine what is possible.

Start somewhere and nurture that dream in minute detail to make it a reality you can’t let go of. Maybe your first dream feels tiny – When we started our Plexus business, I had already experienced some wins on the products.  We started the business with the big dream of earning enough money to cover the cost for one of us on the products.

I was scared to death admitting that to our upline at the first training session I went to.  My previous MLM experiences had not been profitable and saying I wanted to earn a couple hundred dollars a month seemed “too big.”  I was so grateful for Kim in that moment. She met me where I was and talked through exactly what I needed to do to make that happen and a realistic timeframe to accomplish that at the level I was willing to work for it. 

She checked in on me and reminded me of what was possible – not big huge things – the simple step of what I wanted … and 2 months later after that was accomplished, she asked what was next.  And that is how I began to imagine more for myself, for others and all the possibilities that are available.

Kim invited me to step into a new reality, to think differently, and to imagine the good stuff.  Now I have the pleasure of inviting others to join me in imagining the good stuff – it counts in all areas of your life: physical, mental, emotional, financial, relational and even spiritual!

Tomorrow is Good Friday  – a time to remember my savior’s crucifixion for my sin … No one could have imagined what was coming in just 3 days!  Jesus rose from the dead and defeated sin and death for all who believe.  I can only imagine what that was like … its time to imagine what is possible for you too!

For with God nothing [is or ever] shall be impossible. ~Luke 1:37 

An abundance of H words are appropriate on the journey to success.

Stay Humble and focus on what others need. 

Keep your Hustle up and work like it depends on you while praying like it depends on God. 

Be Hungry going after the dreams God has given you. 

Hunker down because there will be all kinds of opposition. Get your center of gravity lower to be able to with stand the storms. 

And most importantly –

Hold on to what matters most!

And no matter what – Hold On to what matters most.  You faith, your family, and your values, all matter.  Never sacrifice the things that can’t be replaced – your integrity, your spouse, your reputation, your health … You know what your bottom line is. Hold on to that!

I also want you to hold on to every single baby step or giant leap forward you make.  That is how life long change happens – one choice at a time.  Progress not perfection!

But we must hold on to the progress we have already made. ~Philippians 3:16

This is such a big idea that can go in different directions.  Know this: God’s grace is always sufficient and is available to anyone that receives it and learns to accept it. And that is where my focus is! 

Give yourself grace.

This was new for me.  I was brutal towards myself in words and deed.  I would tear myself apart with words for the littlest “failures” and physically hurt myself through actions if I had done something I considered wrong.

Neither of these responses to “self” are acceptable. We want to be successful. We are going through this process to change something about our life, or maybe even multiple somethings.

Know this truth – It is absolutely impossible to be perfect the first time and then every time after especially when learning something new.  Period!  No matter how much I want to get it right, I will screw it up at some point. Not because I am a failure, but because I am human.  I will never know everything about everything!

Know that whatever changes you are making will have a learning curve at some point. Practice will help you make progress.  Try again.  Try something new.  Ask for help.  Learn. Grow.  Give yourself grace and keep going.

Often when I journal, I end up with imagery in my head. I had one recurring image – I am running towards Jesus but I can only go so far and then these ropes jerk me to a halt well before I reach His embrace. That is what today is all about.

Forget the past.

The ropes that tied me up and thwarted my progress is all of my past yuck – my sins as well as the sins that were committed against me. They held me back and created a separation between me and my Savior.

This is not easy …. and forgetting is the very last step in the process.  In Wounds That Heal, Stephen Seamands guides you steps to acknowledge the past, deal with the present and choose your behavior for the future. It has helped me process through decades of sin and dysfunction.

You start by acknowledging the hurts in your life – the hard core reality, he uses the term “ruthless honesty.”  What is the truth?  Where do I blame? Where do I make excuses?  You accept responsibility for your wrongs and you place responsiblity appropriately.  This is not an opportunity to bash – it is the chance to sort out your mess and get clear on what you are truly responsible for.

Next you have to feel the feelings. I didn’t like this part very much because unlocking the door to my feelings was an all or nothing proposition.  I couldn’t feel only “good” feelings; I would feel both the pleasant and the unpleasant … I had to move my wounds from my head down into my heart and feel what I had hidden away for so long.

Confronting the hate, anger, disgust, and every other unpleasant “angry” emotion that I felt towards those that hurt me was scary.  I was a master at accepting responsibility for everyone else’s actions and in this step I had to give responsibility back to the person that hurt me. For me, this meant giving up the phrase “If I had done _________ better than he/she wouldn’t have ________.” There was a lot of wrestling through on this one.

I rebelled against the next couple steps for quite a while.  I lean towards very black and white right or wrong thinking.  My legalism removed the human factor.  I had to dig into what Jesus did on the cross to get unstuck, unstubborn and unbound by the past.

Anger is what I call a shell emotion.  It is the hard shell that separated me from present reality and all the hurts that I had been stockpiling. Once I acknowledged wrong, there was the weight of pain.  I had to feel the deep soul crushing hurt.  When there is sin there is pain.  When we forgive, we bear the pain of someone’s sin against us knowing that there is probably nothing they can do to “make it up” to us.  Jesus on the cross is the ultimate example of bearing the pain of someone else’s sin, including mine.

In bearing the pain, I had to choose to place my offenders at the foot of the cross.  I had to release my vengeful, backwards justice and say “God – you are the only one to judge this person. I give this offense to you.” This is the ultimate in relinquishing control … In forgiving, I act on faith alone and ask God to back fill the part of me that has been hurting with his love and tender mercy.  This is the ultimate attitude adjustment in my heart.  Please know, forgiveness does not in any way change the lawful consequences of the other persons actions. Promoting justice may be part of the process.

Now that I have let my offenders off of my hook, its time to take responsibility for me.  I no longer have someone to blame for my misbehavior – I give up the right to live with the victim mentality.  I am responsible for my actions and I get to define who I am.  I can now figure out who I am without the pain, blame and resentment of past hurts.  Talk about scary!!! So many people stop here and miss out on the life God truly wants us to have. At this moment, we choose to lead with victory of His healing instead of being defined by our wounds.

The final steps bring closure … how to I engage in a relationship with those who have hurt me? And no, it isn’t always appropriate – but most of the time, we are talking about hurts between friends.  When working through the hurts we have caused each other, we are given the opportunity to be closer than we ever thought imaginable.  You will bring the lessons forward but leave the guilt and negativity behind!  You will no longer be bound by your past and you can run freely into the waiting arms of Jesus.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~Philippians 3:12-14

This is where the rubber meets the road on mindset and personal development work.

Expect the best for and of yourself.  

You’ve got gifts and talents that will take you far  – bring your strengths to everything you do! 

Yes there will be hard times. Yes there will be road blocks. Yes it can be challenging. BUT and it is a really big one – you can learn to expect good things to come your way instead of always waiting for the other shoe to fall.

This was a hard one for me … I learned to self protect and anticipate the worst at a young age (abuse did that to young mind).  Knowing that things were not always what they appeared to be on the outside created a guarded fists up way of living.

Processing through the hurts and trauma required that I learn to trust God and expect better things.  I had to give up all of the lies that I believed. And as crazy as that sounds, there was comfort in the lies because they were familiar … I knew them and what they meant to me.  I had to dig in and challenge all of it!

This is one area that I choose to stay vigilant.  Most of my personal development work and much of my quiet time is focused on this one thing.  Remembering that God is good and He wants to pour blessings over his children!  This is living that belief out!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ~John 10.10

Rebuild your foundation on truth and expect the good things!

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ~Ephesians 3:16-20

What comes after commit?

Do. Do the work – Daily.

You have to take action.  You have to work.  You have to give something to God to bless!  This applies to every single aspect of change that will come into your world.

Whatever it is – Do IT!  If you don’t know where to start, pick something and go.  Trust Him to guide you!!! And never forget one of the best places to start – Personal Development makes a difference.  Grow in spirit, grow intellectually, grow your skills … just grow!

This isn’t some fluffy fly-by-night concept.  This is the dig in, get dirty, do whatever it takes to get to the other side concept.

Commit.

To yourself.  To the process. To your dreams.

Most of us have no idea what we are capable of accomplishing.  This is where you find out what you are really made of.

When you are invested and you want something bad enough, you make it happen.  When you are in enough pain and there is the slightest chance that something could be different, you do it. When you dream it is possible, you chase after it.  It’s your whole heart, mind, and soul fully engaged!

This is not something to take lightly or expect to have the emotions carry you through.  If you want to change and you want to succeed, you will need to go all in and burn the boats behind you. (If you are wondering what this means, you can read the whole story here.) Any consideration of Plan B weakens your commitment to Plan A!

Seal of every back door, window, escape hatch or alternate route.  You are in it to win it and you will never accept failure. This also doesn’t mean you are promised the ending you desire according to your plans – it simply means that you are fully dedicated to this course of actions … as Les Brown says, “It’s not over until I win!”  Whether 5 days, 5 months, 5 years or 5 decades – I will see this through … Go ALL in!

Once a new thought is allowed in – it is time to fertilize it!  Give it room to grow and become something amazing, something joy filled, something really cool in your life. 

Believe anything is possible.

Borrow belief if you need to.  

I remember the doctor’s in the hospital telling me Thad was going to be ok.  I will never forget Dr. Newsome grabbing my shoulders and saying “Girl! You have got to believe he can get better!  I don’t know when and I don’t know what it will look like, but I promise you – your husband can live a very fulfilled life. And YOU need to believe that enough for both of you.  God’s got this!”

And we haven’t looked back.  There are times when it was scary and I had to borrow belief from someone else.  There are times when I have wondered if she was out of her everloving mind.  There are times when I can feel God pulling us through.  And there are other times when I felt like I could conquer the world.  The fact is – I serve a big God that allowed this to happen for our good and His glory. Am I willing to believe that our journey can still take us to places we always dreamed of going?

I may have been the most rigid, non-flexible rule-following scheduled-to-the-minute person on the face of the planet at one point in my life.  God has used my marriage, my friends, my circles, service opportunities and really hard circumstance to change this one thing about me. I guess you could say I am a recovering control freak!

Allow a new thought or idea to come in.

Be willing to open and possibly even change your mind.  I promise this is possible. You too can survive a new and different thought!

I thought my life was going to “look” a certain way – long marriage, a house full of kids, a fulfilling career, world travels, grandkids to spoil – and instead we have no human kids and got to experience all kinds of unusual medical issues for our 23 years of marriage. Yet we are still standing!  Bring on the new ideas!!!!