Nov 15

God’s Got Us – We simply relocated to the hospital

November 15-18, 2016

This is not what I thought my Tuesday would be.  We were supposed to be making appointments to start physical therapy.  We were supposed to be making plans to start taking walks together. We were supposed to stay on the upward trajectory for healing. And God decided Thad’s recovery path is going to look a little different.  We woke up this morning and all of the progress he has made over the past month seems to have disappeared.

He doesn’t know what day, week, month or even year it is … He can’t find words … He is in a lot of pain … He is confused and isn’t completely sure who I am … He can’t keep his eyes open because lights are too much and he now has ear plugs in as any sound seems to be too much too … He is holding on to anything near him as his world spins out of control …. I’m scared … all I can do is pray because God is way bigger than anything we are facing!

I am grateful we are at a hospital with doctors and specialists and a lot of medical tests and evaluations that are going to help him and hopefully be able to tell me what is going on and why … Yes, God’s got us and it would be comforting to understand what is going on!

Update #1: Geek Alert

The doctors here are incredible.  They are answering questions and truly educating us – me – on what is going on and what is coming.  For the first time, I think I understand … When Thad’s car was hit head on, it started a chain reaction in his head. The brain is made up of millions of nerve cells connected by fibers called axons. When Thad’s head was thrust from side to side and front to back, some axons—which carry messages between brain cells—were torn, twisted or just plain sheared off.  Then as the impact moved through the car, the kinetic transfer of energy needed to make its final release.  It shattered the water bottle in his cup holder and what we now know – parts of his brain exploded in much the same manner.

Dr. Newsome, the neurologist, is using the term Closed Head Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) with Post Concussion Syndrome.  Some of the neuroimaging tests include magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), an electroencephalogram (EEG), and computed tomography (CT scan). She said the damage is there at the microscopic level and that these types of injuries to the brain’s axons usually will not show up on CT scans or MRIs. Radiologists will say the test results were in normal range.  She said we will know more about the parts of the brain damaged will come through OT, PT, cognitive and speech evaluations.  Oh my wow!  So much to take in …. God – help me be calm and trust you – you made Thad’s brain the first time and you know every detail right now!

Update #2:

Dr. Gurrapu, the internist, was pleased to see that Thad isn’t “sick” he is just injured!  This is a huge praise as there aren’t any – like NO underlying medical conditions that could complicate or create challenges for his recovery – Plexus for the Win! This opens up a whole new avenue for treatment moving forward.  There are some folks coming from a Neuro Rehab facility to help me understand what the next steps will be.  Ok God – I trust you – help me to not be so darn scared.

Update #3:

So Thad will be going to a place called PATE Neuro Rehabilitation in the near future …. there is no going “back to normal”.  Life will always be different and some of the changes in him may be permanent.  Too much to take in so I will attempt another update soon. God, I have to believe you’ve got this!

Nov 04

I love my husband

In an odd way we’re celebrating the past 3 1/2 weeks at the Arms home. A little shift here and a little tweak there and suddenly definitions, priorities and expectations have all changed.

If you know me at all – you know I love really deep hours long conversation …. I honestly believe communication is a love language. Thad is filling my tank with little things: his humor, a laugh, asking for help, sitting on the couch, coloring, holding my hand in mostly dark silence … Saying I love you and thank you with just a look that I knew was for me alone.

So grateful that in the midst of a lot of uncertainty and unknowns God is still on the throne …. And the cool part – I can curl up in His lap and dump, laugh, cry, panic, celebrate, and sleep.

This is a season for us to learn more about patience, trust, and just being in the right here right now. I’m getting better about accepting help and still struggle to figure out what help I/he/we need. Y’all His provision is so far beyond what any of us can comprehend! People praying; bringing toilet paper; providing meals; Plexus; laughter; friend’s shoulders; emotions … I am truly overwhelmed at just how much God loves us. It is the most incredible feeling to bask in peace that surpasses all understanding.

We had another doctor appointment today.  He is mostly where the doctor expects him to be and there is some progress. We continue to *wait* for God’s perfect timing for Thad’s complete healing.  We are both very quick to pray through the pain – both the constant daily and the spikes.  A few highlights:

  • He is still supposed to lay low and get plenty of rest. He is currently able to stay awake for 2-3 hours at a time averaging 6-8 hours a day. Coloring is good for almost 10 minutes before his eyes get tired.
  • He has not progressed to being left alone yet mostly because of the dizziness and vertigo.  We will be doing an MRI to see if there is anything else contributing those issues. No unassisted walking … He is grateful I’m the perfect size to be his human walker .
  • Still need minimal lights – think candles – lots of candles.
  • Still no screens and very little use of anything that plugs in or uses a battery – he did listen to the final few innings of the Cubs wining the World Series. He is beyond ready for the ringing in his ears to stop too.
  • Language is trying to get better so we are able to have more conversations. stuttering is the biggest issue. When he is tired or mentally exhausted, is when things tend to deteriorate.

I love you Thad! Thanks for resting your brain to get fully healthy again. Thanks for praying for us out loud today. Thanks for the smiles, tears and honesty as you make your way to healed. You are definitely my love no matter what!

Oct 18

God knows

I realize now that there will always be a before or after the accident.  Since I got the phone call, I have learned way more about myself, my limitations, and the limitations of this world. I have had a lot of quiet time with God. I have learned more about just how fearfully and wonderfully complex we are made. I have had a glimpse at the complexity of the human brain that is so far beyond complete human understanding.

God, I believe your promises! Please give Thad deep restful restorative healing sleep. Heal his brain and make every cell work the way you created it to and make every thought fixated on you and your absolute love for him. Build a hedge around us both blocking any of the fears either of us may have. Allow us to think only thoughts and dream only dreams aligned with your good pleasing and perfect will. Multiply our hours as if the earth is standing still. Let us both hear your whisper in our hearts. God, I have seen your fingerprints on so many situations. We are being sustained by the prayers of people all over the world that we know that also love Jesus. 

So much info and so little brain space. Thank you God for knowing our everyday before you formed us in our mothers womb. Thank you for choosing us before you laid the foundation of the earth. Thank you for comforting us and being with us always. Thank you for people that studied to know the big words and how to help fix it.

Y’all, Thad is still struggling with his injuries….the doctor said he should make a complete recovery and God knows exactly when. We are fully believing the promise of Phil 4:6-7. These are just a few of the things we are specifically praying for in terms of his concussion:

  • He wants desperately to be able to talk normally again. He is good for 6-10 minutes when he first wakes up – and then the words start to disappear, the stuttering starts, the frustration sets in, and exhaustion takes over.
  • He wants to be able to stay awake for more than an hour.
  • He wants the flashbacks to stop. He wants the nightmares to stop.
  • He wants to stop spinning – the dizziness keeps him from being able to walk on his own.
  • He wants the ringing in his ears to stop.
  • He wants to remember – it seems that years might be missing from his memory on top of not knowing “when” he is.
  • He wants the seizures to stop.
  • He wants to be able to focus on anything for more than 5-7 minutes before exhaustion kicks in.
  • He wants to go outside and bask in the sun or take the boys to play at the park but any light is still incredibly painful.
  • He wants to be able to see clearly and see only one version of what he is looking at.
  • He wants to be able listen to music instead of the ringing and other sounds he is hearing right now.
  • He just wants to feel more like his normal self again.

Thank you for joining with us in prayer!

Oct 13

God you are Good!

October 13, 2016

God, thank you for whispering in the quiet stillness all day to remind me that you are right here – holding us both and that there is GOOD in this no matter what. Thank you for making my ears work to hear Thad when he needed something. Thank you for an early Plexus payday to remind me that you are part of every provision we have. Thank you for making me ok in the dark. Thank you for words to tell Thad what a wife is. Thank you for friends that know you are are praying for us now. Thank you for your grace which is always sufficient. And thank you for the rest that is coming tonight even with the alarms going off for meds! Amen!

Oct 12

In an Instant

 

October 12, 2016

At 12:10p, life changed.  Thad was in a horrific car accident.  He was hit mostly head on by a guy in a big pick up truck that was trying to make/beat the light.  The other guy was going way to fast – well above the speed limit – and Thad was almost, if not completely stopped.

I praise God there is no bleeding on the brain though I am terrified that they sent him home from the hospital. (Why are they sending him home?  I am not even remotely medically trained!!!!) He doesn’t know what day it is, what month it is or even what year it is.  He is not capable of walking on his own. He isn’t supposed to be left alone.

The doctor’s are calling it a significant concussion with mild amnesia (Seriously!  How can they even use the word mild?)  They want him to go to bed and sleep for a few days to rest his brain – no lights, no sound, no thinking.  I have no idea what any of this means or what is coming.  He is drugged and asleep now.  They also said the coming days would probably be worse in terms of pain with the way the body responds to a high impact collision. Any and all prayers are welcome!

Oct 01

Choose Who You Will Follow

October 2016

Self indulgence has always been my down fall …. I mean seriously – who doesn’t crave comfort and ease. Yet God calls us to so much more – something that will be so much better. Growth is just a part of my walk with God. He doesn’t want me to stay stuck and small – He calls me to Grow Up!

I know there I things He is calling me to give up and yet I look at my hands and realize that I have a death grip on things I think I want!  This month is going to challenge me in ways I can’t even begin to imagine.  God has some really good amazing things in store for me – I simply need to love Him most.

Deuteronomy 6:5

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

There are some really fun yet challenging things coming my way this month … I am on a road trip to visit Wally in Tulsa then I will be growing as a leader at a John Maxwell conference the next weekend.  A bunch of other stuff happens and then we get to cap off all of the hard work from the summer at Plexus Leader’s Retreat. It is all part of the journey He has me on. I can joke about it – yet honestly I am scared of what is coming.  The process of growth is seldom easy, often messy and frequently painful.

I am choosing to walk into situations that make me uncomfortable – that will point out my flaws – that will help me grow – that will shine His light – that will give Him glory – that will help me see what my next steps are! I do have big goals and big dreams and friends that I want to accomplish these things with. I want to live in the wonder of possibility. I want to believe … God – Help me believe!

Ephesians 5:25-27

Jesus gave up his life for me to make me holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present me to himself as a glorious bride without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, I will be holy and without fault.

I want to believe that what God says to me, for me and about me is absolutely true. I want to live from that belief. That simple pure knowledge that God is for me and no one can stand against Him. God – this month – especially right now – I want to focus on you and you alone. Your path, your lessons, your victory!

Sep 06

God’s Timing and Plans are Always Perfect

September 2016

I was handed an opportunity to run away the last week in August – I had 6 days to pack and go! It involved the ocean and a cruise ship – needless to say – I grabbed it. I had been praying for a way to get alone – like really alone and unplugged – and God provided something way more than I was considering for myself.

God’s got it! I hear myself saying that a lot – it simply means that when facing any kind of uncertainty – there are 5 undeniable truths I must cling to.

God is who He says He is.

God can do what He says He can do.

I am who God says I am.

I can do all things through Christ.

God’s Word is alive and active in me.

God is perfect. He has a plan. He loves me. Period! All of these things are always true all at the same time – God’s got it for me is about trusting Him. Relying on Him and choosing hope.

Let Him be Him. Sitting staring at the ocean, I felt so convicted. All I could see in any direction was sky or water. There was nothing else in my line of sight … just His creation. The vastness of it. The beauty of it. The power of it. The awe of it. I was struck that the ocean in that part of the world was miles deep and I was literally floating – bobbing around on a 48,000 ton cork.

I have no idea what is coming or what I am being prepared for – I just know that God is already there. It is not an invitation to kick back and enjoy the ride …. it is an invitation to trust and walk with bold courage.

Romans 8:16-17 Message ~ “[my life is] adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!”

My world still feels like a hot mess – but I know who holds it and I know He alone will help me sort it all out! His plan and His timing will be perfect! Thank you God for holding my hot mess in the palm of your hand!

Aug 05

Be Bold! Be Raw! Be where you are – just don’t stay there!

August 2016

Holy Wow! What a whirlwind. July was a month of everything in all directions. How is it possible to have so many emotions in so many directions at the exact same time? Things building up; things cracking; things coming together; things crumbling …. It’s all part of something way bigger than us though right this very minute – it is very challenging to see beyond the end of my nose.

Closing July and starting August – let’s just say it is a very rough season in the Arms home. I know God is asking me to share a more raw less cleaned up version of me right now … laying my fear before His throne and going for it!

My world feels like a game right at the moment and everything is happening in slow motion. I can’t tell if the next move brings me closer to victory or if it pulls the rug out from under me. I am not at all where I thought I would be right now in any area of my life and I just want to know that I will be ok – which really means it will be easy, it won’t hurt and I can stay comfortable.

Feeling a little edgey – I need to check in on my health. I believe my total health includes Marital, Emotional, Physical, and Fiscal and these areas are glued together solely by the strength of my Spiritual health. (Years ago, I took the time to figure out what this means for me based on God’s Word and I use this process as a personal roadmap.)

Maritally, Thad and I choose to invest some of our free time in serving. As of August 1st, we are stepping back from that to address an unresolved issue from our past that is significantly impacting our marriage. It has shaken me more than I can even admit. My area of service needs to be my husband and my marriage. I know God’s got it and I will be ok – but man, I have no desire to walk through it. Honestly – I’d like to just wake up on the other side.

Emotionally, the grieving has started as the time to say earthly goodbyes to my friend Jen draws near. I praise God for our friendship and the blessings God poured over so many in and through her! She continues to be on fire for Jesus even as cancer ravages what is left of her body. Though she doesn’t want to leave her husband and young son, she is ready for Heaven and worshiping God without interruption for eternity.

Physically, I am actually doing better than I have in years. I am moving consistently, eating appropriately for me and I am actually discovering so much about what healthy feels like. I can tell the sleep and stress are starting to take their toll.

Financially, we are doing good. Our budget is on track and we know how we want to use our biggest ever Plexus paycheck to bless someone (yes – the monster number from July was hit!) We are aggressively paying off our car and our mortgage and it is quite possible to have the car paid in full within the next few months – major praise!

Spiritually, God and I are spending a lot of time together and our conversations are intense. God is big and he is good. He is unshakeable and unchangeable. He called me to be his and knew my everyday before he laid the foundation of the earth …. Choosing to believe that if my circumstances aren’t good – God’s not done! Going to just breathe and meditate on his truth for a while.

John 16:31-33 (NLT)

Jesus asked, “Do you finally believe? But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me.  I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

 

Jul 01

Press on Towards the Goal God Gave Me

July 2016

Philippians 3:12-14 – Focused on the Goal

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

Sometime the Message is exactly what is needed to jolt me back to what God is really saying. On the flight home from convention, God gave me a number and said Go For It! It wasn’t out loud as I looked around to see who else heard it and apparently I was the only one. I mean this number is insane. It is more than double anything we have done or even come close to doing.

Me in my human brain have been wrestling with this “goal” ever since. Everything from the really God – this is Lisa you are talking to – to the absolute we can do this – it breaks down this way and requires these actions – to the God there is no way I can do those actions!

BUT GOD!

He gives exquisite clarity and perfect peace in the exact moment it is needed. I can be scared and take action. I can be nervous and take action. I can be completely tee-totally freaked out take action. I can stay plugged into the word and listen to what God wants me to hear – and that is the only reason I will be able to take action. Am I willing to work like it depends on me and trust that it can only happen with his intervention. Am I willing to stay focused if it doesn’t happen? …. Wait a minute! This is an act of faith. When God says go – you go!

God is bigger than any number or any fear I have of that number and I am making the decision to do whatever work God gives me to do to make that happen. I can choose to be still and listen. I can choose to ask, knock and receive. I can choose to believe that God has certain people in my life this season so that I can learn from them and chase hard after Him. Simple daily actions consistently over time can create some pretty massive change. God – you’ve got this and I am willing to go there!

Jun 09

Stay Hopeful (and Dreaming On)

June 2016

The slap of disappointment stings when I have been working hard and still fall short of my personal goals. This is where I find myself as we are heading to our annual Plexus Convention – we were supposed to go to convention as Senior Gold …. and …. my hope can’t ever be in anything of this world – especially in my accomplishments.

Life is going to happen and things that are out of my control can take me out! It usually catches me as something physical, mental or emotional. Getting sick, having a migraine attack, not understanding a how or feelings of hurt or sadness have been known to stop me in my tracks. Heck, being a creature that craves stability and routine structure – changes to my daily plan can knock me off my “A” game. So many opportunities to grow, to learn, to respond differently.

As a recovering control freak, I know that each moment of every day I have the opportunity to stop and ask – What do I hope for and what am I hoping in? And if my answer has anything to do with my ability or results I can create – I am going to be very disappointed in the long run.

Satisfaction – true deep lasting contentment – comes from living a life that glorifies God! I am grateful that my relationship with Jesus and the truth of who God is has been planted in my soul by Him. When I get rattled and knocked off that illusive “A” game – spiritual rattling doesn’t happen in the same ways it has. I no longer question God’s goodness, his greatness or his plan. I KNOW that he loves me and that HIS TIMING is perfect. And there is peace. It isn’t that I am working toward the wrong goal, its simply that my timeline and his don’t match. Keep working. Keep growing. Keep believing. Keep dreaming.

Working towards a God given dream is going to require God’s intervention. That is most likely going to include growth, change and other uncomfortable stuff. My hope is in you – today, tomorrow and forever.

Romans 5:5 (NLT) ~ And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

This month, I choose to go there with God. He has lessons for me in every season both the celebrations and the disappointments. God show me what you love and what you want to remove from me. Hold me close. I know you will grow me. I know I want there to be more of you and less of me. I know you will complete the work you started in me – that is your promise! I don’t know what else I need to learn or what I have to unlearn … but I am willing and God, I know you’ve got this!