May 2016

Whenever I struggle and get stressed I can fall back into old patterns that hang on the framework of self-protection and self-reliance. I find myself fighting to make it on my own with this insane streak of I have to do “it” on my own! My focus this month is going to nurture my relationship with the only reliable source of strength – my heavenly Father. What does it mean to abide and what would it be like to live with that focus for the month?

I can so bury myself in analysis paralysis creating unnecessary confusion and then decide that I don’t know how to move out of wonky head space. Reality – God is on his throne all the time! His greatest command has never changed – God has called me first and foremost to love him and then love others. And still on this journey, I can find myself believing that I “need” someone else to ____________ (fill in the blank).

Most days, I know I am smart, determined, capable, and usually likeable. And like other ladies I know – I can struggle with doing what I know I can when the motivation is because I want to or its good for me and my family.

I can’t be the only one that will bend over backwards turning myself inside out to love, serve and support the ease, comfort or rise to the top of others; however, I don’t understand what is going on in my head, my heart, or my beliefs when why I sell my own dreams short. I’d hate to imagine a world that I somehow lost my ability to dream?

Psalm 91:14-16 The Message ~

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!”

I choose to trust God regardless of my circumstances. You are a God that is in the details and this month – I will invite you into the details. I pray that intentionally growing closer to you in the coming month, you will teach me how to follow, submit, or surrender to you in all areas of my life. Remind me the truth of who I am and let me only hear your voice in the quiet and through the believers in my world. Give me the ability to fully feel the comfort that is beyond anything this world can offer and comes only from being close to you. Help me see beyond today into the works you planned for me long ago.